Friday, April 1, 2011

Afraid 2 play? Posh ploy?

OK, so last night I log in to EQ2 and things are pretty normal for the first 30 minutes or so. I knock out a quick Public Quest almost as soon as I log in but gained nothing new from the dropped treasure hoard. I spent a little bit of time doing an old HQ for the AA (Trail to the Past). Normal run of the mill stuff. I was chatting to my guild about inane stuff when I got a tell from a toon I have never spoken to or seen before, Lode. I don’t have the text log until I get home later, but the conversation went something like this:

Lode: Hello, how have you been?

Voltaan: Hi, sorry, do I know you?

Lode: of course! It’s me.

Voltaan: LoL, OK, who is ‘me’?

Lode: you’re kidding right?

Voltaan: LMAO! No! I’m not kidding, I have never spoken to you before. Like ever..

Now, this is where things start to get a little bit freaky...

Lode: yes, you have. Although the last time we spoke was in person.

WTF? Who was this?

Voltaan: I’m sorry, even that isn’t helping. So who are you in RL life then?

Lode: Come on! Surely you remember?

I was starting to get a little irate now, and a quick search of EQ2 players didn’t help as the damn error messages kept coming up.

Voltaan: I don’t remember. I don’t know who you are and unless you stop farting around I’m just gonna put you on ignore ...

Lode: LoL, that won’t help you

‘That won’t help me’? What the hell was going on!! I must say I was rather angry, confused and wondering if I was having a trick played on me.

Lode: So, you don’t remember me?

Voltaan: NO! Who the F*** are you?

Lode: You don’t remember me? Really? I was there after you crashed your motorbike.

Now this was WAY outta left field. The only person who I know who was with me when that happened was my best mate who still lives back in England. He did used to play the game but quit pretty soon after RoK was released and he gave me his account. I had changed the password at some point over the last couple of years and there was no way he could have known it. So, I got my thinking cap on. Pretty much all of my mates know I had a bike crash in Wales and wrote off my Moto. So it could be any one of them, but the only one who still has an account live is my real life brother and I know he wouldn’t mess like this. Then I got to thinking, I guess it doesn’t matter if they had an account or indeed if they did if it was live or not, as the free 14 day trial could have been activated and it could be any one of my friends back in the UK playing with me.

Voltaan: Rich? That you ?

Lode: Nope :)

Voltaan: Who then? Davey? Jimbo? Chris?

Lode: OMG, you still don’t get it do you? Think back to your accident...

Voltaan: What the hell. You’re frickin’ annoying me now bud. I don’t recall much from that day. If you were there you will remember I was unconscious for a time then very disorientated.

Lode: Yes, I know. In the ambulance. Do you remember?

Holy fukkin’ crap, I was starting get a little uneasy now. ‘In the ambulance’!! I was open mouthed and wondering where the hell all this had come from. I was thinking ten to the dozen and of course remembering being in the ambulance. Had I spoken to the paramedics much when I was off my face on morphine? I did a /who lode all, and saw he was not anon and was tagged as being a 38 brigand in The Enchanted Lands. I started to head there to see this crazy dude face to face. Lo and behold, there he was standing on the dock near the hut there. I didn’t recognise anything at all about the toon. Not the looks, name (full name was Lode Yofou), nothing, but that meant nothing really. It only takes a very short time to level a toon to 38, so I guess I couldn’t take much from that.

Lode: I see you!

Voltaan: Yes, I came to see what the hell is going on

Lode: You know what is going on. You just don’t know you know

If the dude was in front of me in RL, I would have punched him by now.

Voltaan: Enough with the that you Matt? (I thought of another friend it could be)

Lode: Like I said, think back to being in the ambulance.

Voltaan: You one of the paramedics that treated me? I don’t really remember much about that journey to hospital.

Now even if this was one of the paramedics, how the hell did he know Voltaan was me? Did I have a freaky stalker?

Lode: No, I’m not a paramedic.

Voltaan: You know, you could have finished that sentence off, like ‘but I’m....’

Lode: I cannot tell you, you must pass this test alone

Motherf***er! WTH!!! Test? Man, /ignore was looming and I was thinking of /report too.

Voltaan: Look, I’m not gonna take your ‘test’ I have no idea what you are talking about and you are starting to piss me off

Lode: Think back to the ambulance. You were lying down, and there was no pain. You had lots of morphine in you. You were staring at the ceiling watching the fan go round and round (I have only told this to my mates. It has to be them). And you were feeling light headed. Then you saw it. You saw me.

Voltaan: All I saw was a ceiling fan and paramedics pal. Look, this is getting very close to being a criminal offence here which happens to be right up my street and well into my forte. If this is a joke you need to be careful. You’re stepping well over the line.

Lode: I’m not talking to you to annoy you or to make you scared (SCARED!! Grrr)

Voltaan: So why the hell are you talking to me then?

Lode: To see if you are ready. You refused my hand that day and went back to your life but time is drawing near and I need to know that you are ready. From our conversation I can see that you are not. Bye! See you soon!

And that was it! He logged out. Didn’t camp properly, just disappeared. Luckily I had hit /report just after I had told him he was stepping over the line. I don’t know if anything will ever come of it as a previous /report I did about 6 months ago went by not being dealt with by SoE at all, so I don’t know what will happen. I do know it was hands down the freakiest conversation I have ever had in game though.

I’ll keep you updated what the GMs say.

Be well.


  1. Kind of funny and a little disturbing too! Assuming it wasn't God, perhaps it was your missus having a laugh?

  2. I would have immediately referred to her, but she was watching TV at the time and her comp (right next to mine) was off. Like you say, assuming it wasn't God (I hope not! I don't want to see him soon), I actually think it may be Matt. I know he used to bug Sj pretending to be a weirdo on his toon 'Affrobob'.

  3. Just noticed the date...
    and the anagram...


    nice one mate!

  4. Lol :)

    Afraid 2 Play? Posh Ploy? = Happy April Fools Day
    Lode Yofou = Fooled You

    Well spotted Bro.

  5. I just read this & was thinking, "Volt is going to end this with a April's Fool!" & I'll be doggone if you didn't, nice one!!

  6. Lol! Bah!! You guys know me too well, hehe.